I allowed myself to say I like men in my 30s
When I was younger, I pictured losing my virginity would be something deeply romantic. Definitely with a person I loved, a long term partner, maybe even the person I’d spend the rest of my life with. And that is how it went, the first time around.
Finally allowing yourself to say that you like men in your 30s is a whole other journey. Admitting that you want to bottom even more so. How do you reshape your sense of self around that desire? How do you take action on it? It’s a lot to take in.
He excited me just much as frightened me
And so was he. Not that I had first hand experience of other dicks, but compared to what I had seen in porn he was well endowed. Somehow to imagine that inside me, excited me just as much as it frightened me. “Are you ready?” he whispered.
I was. Far more than I had been for the first fumblings of my heterosexual sex life. Hiring an escort to be the first man inside me seemed counterintuitive at first, but the more we talked, the more certain I became that I had made the right choice.
That night opened new worlds for me
I couldn’t imagine being this well prepared with a random tinder date. We talked about my feelings and needs. He told me about his first time, and how it might feel. We had safe words! The emotional intelligence of this man alone made me want him to fuck me.
That night opened new worlds for me in more than the obvious way. A new realm of pleasure. A new way of seeing myself, and looking at others. A new courage to authentically explore every corner of my soul. And a new standard of communicating with my partners.
Are you at a crossroads of your own story, the unwritten chapters ahead daunting and exciting? Text me (+31630896670) or DM me to talk or if you want to anonymously share your adventures!